Rebecca Mai ‘27
EE Staff Writer
Friendship: That means the importance of people that are there for each other that can help in problematic situations. This is a great thing, but having a good friendship is not always so easy. No, friendships are hard to keep and difficult to find in the first place. So what helps in these situations? How can you find friends and what can you do to keep very good friendships?
First of all, finding friends is a process! When you’re worried that you can’t find friends right away, then, that’s the wrong way of going about it. We all know, that this is hard to accept, but it’s the reality. There will always be people who seem like they’re able to find many friends all at once. You need to remember that very often, that’s not the case and those friendships probably won’t last for a long time anyway.
But I don’t want to criticize these big, popular groups of friends. I just want to encourage everyone to find the kind of friends that they need and if you don’t feel like having ten, twenty, thirty friends, who cares? The most important thing in a good friendship is that you feel comfortable and whatever gives you this confidence is best for you. So, I know it’s hard to do and you may try to influence your thoughts so you can be with the “cool, popular” people at your school but if that’s not making you feel right, don’t do it! That is the process and everyone has to learn and study themself to find out what kind of friends they need!
But what helps and how can you find some good friends for yourself?
If you know what type of friends you need, like for example a big group or a smaller, cute group of three or four, then, it’s much easier for you to find someone. Then, you can take a look and see where you can fit in. If you aren’t sure yet, just start talking to a bunch of people in different classes and just sit with some others in your lunch break every day. This way, you can figure out who has the same mood and vibe because that makes a good friendship so much easier.
This takes time, especially in a large high school where it’s very hard to find friends because the groups are very distinctive. If you don’t feel comfortable in groups, this is definitely a tough task. So, what I suggest is you recognize that it is quite normal that finding friends is not easy to do at high school. Everyone has feelings of loneliness with their struggle to find friends, but realize that there are many more people than you think that feel exactly the same and you’ll never be alone with that feeling!
And then, what happened next when I figured out what I needed and when I began talking to a person or group that I liked a little bit more?
When you come to this point, first, be proud of yourself because that’s one of the most difficult first steps and it’s definitely a success on which you can be proud of. The next thing is to make the step to make a friendship and I would say, after you talk a little bit longer to these people, make the first step!
I know, that there are people that don’t feel confident enough, but that’s also a part of becoming an adult and an important experience because, whether you want to hear it or not, you’ll definitely need it a few more times in your life so why not just practice it now when you get this great chance? And always think about: What is the worst case scenario? The only answer is that the other person might tell you that they don’t have time. And then you know how they feel, but if you really like them, try it again.
The important thing is that you first start with something simple, like go to a café or a creamery? It’s a good start to make some nice conversation and if it doesn’t work directly you can always eat or drink a bit. That makes it much easier than if you would meet for a walk or anything like that because, in this case, when you don’t have anything to talk about, then you may have this unpleasant kind of silence. So, try to make an activity outside of school but think about what could might be the easiest thing…
Hopefully, I gave you some good advice about the big topic “friendship” and my personal goal is that everyone feels good after reading this article about themself, their friends and their own thoughts.
And, please, always keep in your mind: Friendship is nice and necessary but never, never, never, stress yourself out just because of others opinions because it’s YOUR friendship!
Rebecca Mai is an exchange student here at THS from Germany